


Tentacle Sex

by ThatwasJustaDream



Series: March Bingo: Kink Card #5 [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Community: 1_million_words, M/M, McDanno sexy car banter, No actual tentacle sex, Tentacle Sex, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 10:12:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6234610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/pseuds/ThatwasJustaDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny would. Steve won't. Or at least he says he won't. Danny thinks otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tentacle Sex

“You’re such a liar. Either that or you’re more unadventurous than I thought, which is worse, maybe.”

“I’m not lying. And I don’t have to think about it: There’s no way in hell I’d ever… go there.”

“You understand we are talking about a fully sentient being, right? A consenting, adult creature with a human-like body that’s to-die-for but also a set of long, undulating, sweetly twisty tentacles, and … you would turn that action down?”

“I know I should never be surprised, but … I am. I’m surprised we’re having this conversation because there’s no such _thing_ as a sentient creature with _tentacles_!”

“Don’t pound on the wheel like that, you ape. Would you pound on the wheel of your truck that way? This is not a stupid conversation. It’s about exploring how repressed or imaginative you are and you, my friend, are so …very repressed. You need help. Lucky for you there’s me.”

“I need _help_ because I won’t have theoretical sex with a non-existent half-human, half-octopus? I think that makes me sane.”

“I’d do it.”

“You would not. You say you would, but…”

“Hell, yeah. And I’d let you watch, if you wanted to.”

“You’re a mess. We’re not fucking in my house ever again; only at yours from now on, ‘cause…”

“Oh, babe, you’re sad…”

“…you’re a mess. And I don’t want … _that_ all over my sheets. I’m going home and scrubbing my walls from floor to ceiling.”

“I’ll bet they make tentacle sex toys.”

“What are you doing?”

“Googling it. Tentacle sex toys. Ooooooh, lookie here…”

“Don’t … even think about it.”

“It’s clear, but tinted purple. It’s kind of beautiful, isn’t it? Look…c’mon, look…”

“No.”

“Pyrex glass. The narrow end, see? It’s arched and folded over into a tail that’s a handle. The wide end arches downward and up again in a most alluring way and…. nubs. Seven inches of smooth, glassy nubs one after the other after….”

“Uh-uh. No. No, no no.”

“It can be heated, too. Or put in the freezer and slicked up - good and cold, like a Popsicle for your posteri….”

“Stop. Please…stop. What are you doing?”

“Ordering two of them.”

“…. ……. …….….”

“Well, you don’t want to share, do you? Some things…you don’t share.”

“You’re never getting that thing _near_ me, let alone…”

“Yeah, I will. Know why I know that I will?”

“Tell me. You’re gonna tell me anyway.”

“You’re only objecting weakly. Which means you are thinking about it. You’re thinking it could maybe, possibly feel amazing.”

“I’m not. I’m wondering how I ever got involved with you.”

“Liar. I am your sentient, tentacle creature and I’m gonna make you lose your mind with my hot, bumpy nubs…”

“I hope you had those mailed to your place…’cause that’s where they’re staying.”

“No problem, tall, dark, and about to get freaky. We’ll nickname my night stand the Octopuses’ Garden.”

“Mess. You are. One.”

“You’re gonna love it.”


End file.
